Today I started reading the book Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger. I have actually owned the book for almost a year. My husband got it for my birthday last year. (there are only 6 days until my birthday this year… in case you were wondering) 🙂 And I have a feeling that there is a distinct reason that I had not had time to read it so far in the past year. Right now, I am kind of on a journey as to what exactly God wants me to be and to do… more than being a Christian woman, more than being a good wife to Adam and a good mom to Andrew, more than being a good mentor to the girls in the youth group… and on and on the list could go of the many hats I wear… But what God wants me to do with the passions and desires He has placed in my heart.
So as I said, today this book finally made it to the top of my reading list. In chapter one Beth describes about the time when she had a very “defining moment” with God’s calling upon her life. She explained that she was on a mission trip with her husband Todd to Mexico and it was one of those times when it felt like no one really cared and she didn’t feel like she was making a difference. (Boy can I relate to those feelings after helping Adam with youth ministry for 10 years now.) She said “We are frustrated, the students are uninspired, and worst of all, the nationals we have come to serve are unaffected.” However, in what seemed like a foolish moment, she and her husband abandoned the student they were working with (well, actually, they left them in the very capable hands of other adult sponsors) and went off in search of an orphanage. After gaining the trust of the person in charge of the orphange, Beth and Todd decide that they were bringing their students the next day to cook a meal and love on these orphans. The next day comes and the group cooks hamburgers for the orphanage. Todd notices however that the hamburgers are being consumed (or so he thought) very quickly. Come to find out, the children were hiding them under their mattresses to save them for another day, likely because it had been over a year since these children had eaten meat.
I have sinced described it as being like a burr under my saddle. I knew I would never feel quite comfortable again. Something inside me had shifted, and after the supernatural pleasure of that “defining moment,” like an addict, I knew I wanted another hit.
This got me to thinking… what have been some of the defining moments in my life??
This question did not go unanswered very long. One defining moment in my life happened the Summer of 2000 when I went to Haiti on a mission trip. There were many ways to serve while we were there. I loved all the things that had to do with children. I loved teaching at the orphanage. I loved working with the nutrition program to help feed the kids and the pregnant moms. I loved being able to help a mom during delivery of her son. However the thing I enjoyed most was working in the medical clinic. There is one patient’s face that will forever be burnt into my memory. This little girl was no older than 5 and had a huge abscess on her forehead that the doctors had to eventually puncture to let out all the pus. Working with her to keep her calm, playing with her and seeing her smiling face when it was all said and done with a big purple sucker in her mouth was a ‘burr in the saddle’ moment for me.
I have loved working with children my whole life. And I am reminded today that I can help children if I will just drop my attitude and allow God to shine through me. Those days in Haiti have helped shape me. And it was because I was willing to open myself up to God’s leading. And I think that is a passion God has placed in my heart to use for His glory.
What have your defining moments been??