The Boyfriend Test

This past Spring and Summer I have been reading Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.  At some point I hope to share some of the marvelous truths that God has been teaching me through this book, however for tonight, I would like to share two short paragraphs.

There is an emotional promiscuity we’ve noticed among many good young men and women.  The young man understands something of the journey of the heart.  He wants to talk, to “share the journey.”  The woman is so grateful to be pursued, she opens up.  They share the intimacies of their lives– their wounds, their walks with God.  But he never commits.  He enjoys her… then leaves.  And she wonders, What did I do wrong? She failed to see his passivity.  He really did not ever commit or offer assurances that he would…

Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit.  Look at his track record with other women.  Is there anything to be concerned about there?  If so, bring it up.  Also, does he have any close male friends– and what are they like as men?  Can he hold down a job?  Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way?  Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam’s passivity and/or violence?  Is he headed somewhere with his life?  A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well. 

I work with lots of young ladies and I have noticed this trend coming on more and more.  Girls giving away HUGE pieces of their heart to guys and all in the name of “getting to know one another.”  And all while they are in high school trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their life.

Ladies, you need to wise up to Satan’s schemes and realize that God’s way is the best way.  You need to treasure your own heart.  To keep it whole and intact until the guy that God has planned to be your husband (your #2) becomes your husband.

Honestly, I wish I could lay my life before these young ladies as a perfect track record.  However, I cannot.  I learned the hard way that once you give it away, you can’t get it back.  And because of some of the poor choices I made, my relationships with all men (including my husband) will forever be altered.

Thank you God for leading me to this book.  Thank you for the lessons I am learning.  Help me to take them to heart and apply them in my own heart and life but also to to show other young ladies Your word and the truth of the plan You have for them.


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