Motherhood Struggles and great friend’s advice…

“Remember, the only person you can control is yourself” are the words that came from a dear friend, just a few days ago.  I was sharing with her and the other ladies in my small group about the frustrating days, scratch that– weeks, I have been having with Andrew.  I don’t know what bug has bit him, but he has truly been a demon child.  My mommy excuses are: I am sure it is a stage- he’s six now, ya know.  Or perhaps the fact that Aida (our BELOVED exchange student) will be leaving us soon– 19 days and NOT counting!  But really I am at a loss of what to do… so this is NOT a blog on parenting skills, because I still coming up lacking…

However, the more I have thought about what I have been dealing with Andrew and how my parenting skills really need to grow… the more I have thought about my relationship with God and how the two are so similar.  Here are a few examples:   

God loves me, just as I love Andrew.

God wants me to make good choices, just as I want that for Andrew.

God wants me to have a blessed life, free of consequences of sin, just as I want that for Andrew.

God wants me to have a joyful heart, just as I want that for Andrew.

God wants me to stay away from the pit of a bad attitude, just as I want that for Andrew. 

But where it all comes crumbling is on my friends statement.  God has given me free will.   He gives me the choice.  I am not a robot that He controls.  Yes, He WANTS all these good things for me.  But I am the only one that can choose these things for ME. 

The very same thing is true of my parenting relationship with Andrew.  He has free will (when it comes to most things).  And I HAVE TO GIVE Andrew the choice.  Yes, I WANT all these good things for him.  But he is the only one that can choose these things for himself.  He is not a robot, either and no amount of forcing (or spanking) will make the choice for Andrew.  *Deep sigh* And this is where I think my struggle really is… I like to be in control.

God is such a good parent.  And I have much to learn from Him.  Here are some words that I found to encourage me to love my son.  Not that I haven’t read them before, but I am seeing them in a new light… They are taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (the Message version) “Love never gives up.  Love cares more for others than self.  Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.  Love doesn’t strut.  Doesn’t have a swelled head.  Doesn’t force itself on others.  Isn’t always ‘me first.’ Doesn’t fly off the handle.  Doesn’t keep score of sins of others.  Doesn’t reveal when others grovel. Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth.  Puts up with anything.  Trusts God always.  Always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.  Love never dies.”

I am striving to be like Him.  Even in my parenting…

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5 thoughts on “Motherhood Struggles and great friend’s advice…

  1. Grace, Dont be too hard on yourself ,I think your doing a great job as a parent. And its true that kids have free will just as we do but some are more strong willed than others. On another note I think you should give Adam more time outs and maybe a spanking . LOL

  2. As the mother of two grown kids, I can say that I don’t regret being strict with our kids. We were not harsh, but set boundaries. It was the hardest thing ever, but they turned out well. And Andrew will, too!

    P.S. I think modern TV shows and movies contribute to a lot of nasty attitudes in kids.

  3. I’m not usually one to publically comment, but I have to chime in just a little. I think without a doubt you do not need any encouraging at all to love your son. That is why it’s so frustrating, cause you LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

  4. Pingback: Mom Stories Create The Bond | TheMomCafe.com

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